My Beloved Speaks to Me

While reading My words to the prophets
have you not learned that, like the Israelites,
I may take you through darkness,
into the valley,
or wilderness,
or even into captivity.
I have led people into solitude,
into fires,
and into the dens of lions.


I do not do this for amusement
but for a purpose.
To teach you,
to refine you,
to prepare you,
"so that you will know that I am God."


Do not fret or be anxious,
do not fear,
I will not let the water drown you
or the fire consume.
I will be with you.
Always.


**Quote taken from Ezekiel

A Love Letter to my Beloved

My Beloved-

In this season of thanksgiving and reflection, my thoughts feel muddled, leaving me feeling lost, confused, and frustrated.

Where do You want me to go?
What do You want me to do?
How would You like me to serve?
Is there ever going to be a spouse to walk along side me?
Do I quit my job in faith?
How do I find this ministry You have planned for me?
Or should I not even look for it and just wait?

Thank You, dearest Jesus, for having all of time in Your vision and under Your control. Thank You that this blip of a moment is fleeting and it will one day "fit" into the journey that You have planned for me. Thank You for the things You are teaching me and showing me, even if I may not be fully aware of it at the present. Thank You for your faithfulness and trustworthiness. Even though my life feels like it is chaos and the confusion is heavy, I know I can depend on You. You are my beacon.

I remain,
Yours.

A Love Letter to my Beloved

My Beloved--

I know this isn't the usual type of note that I have written in the past but variety is okay, right? The point of this blog is for me to intentionally connect with you...to share my heart with you and to hear yours. So despite the different tone of this particular letter, the intention is still there. I want to share my heart...

I know that You are not a doting grandfather in the sky or some magical genie waiting to answer my wishes and whims. But I also know that You have a plan for my life which will include many blessings. Lastly, I also know that You care about the things on my heart.

Beloved, I would love to go to Ambrose University College next year. The new buildings looks amazing and it would be fun to return to my alma mater even though it's moved cities and has changed to be sure. It would be great to be in that environment again but part of me worries that I am just trying to "retreat" to a happier time. I certainly don't want that!

Beloved, I would love to do the whole doctorate program thing but honestly, it scares me a little. Sure, with Your help, I've done well on my Master's degree but I just don't see myself being intellectual enough for a doctorate degree and then even beyond that, to actually teach others. However, I know that if You guide me into this program, there too You will be and You will prepare me for teaching others. The bottom line is that I don't want to walk on this path without first hearing from You.

I know I am prone to thinking and thinking and thinking. I do trust that You will speak and reveal Your will for me when it is time but I just wanted to share these few thoughts with You. Thank You for caring and for loving me. I wait for You!

I remain,
Yours.

My Beloved Speaks to Me

I am your rock, your fortress and your deliverer; 
I am the rock in whom you can take refuge,
Your shield and the horn of your salvation

I am your stronghold, your refuge, and your Savior.
I alone can save you from destruction.

Call out to Me.
In your distress, call out to Me.
for I hear your voice;
your cry comes to My ears

I will be your lamp
I will turn your darkenss into light.


**Adapted from II Samuel 22:3, 7, 29

A Love Letter to my Beloved

My Beloved,

My mind is full of thoughts, circulating around and around, with no real focus. It occurs to me that the One who can bring focus to me, the One I need to speak to and hear from, is You.

You have beckoned me my entire life. I remember when my dad told me about You and asked if I'd like You to be my Savior. Honestly, in that moment I already loved You and accepted You...saying yes to my dad was the easiest decision I've ever made. As I grown from that young age, I've learned so much more about You. The sweet and simple belief as a child has matured and developed, which has been good. However, along with a developed faith, my hindrances have also grown. It can be harder to trust You and Your timing. Instead of my young assurance that everything about You is good, including Your timing, I now am more prone to worrying, doubting, and becoming frustrated.

It is in those moments, when I need to take time to look backwards. All throughtout my past, which has been filled with moments of uncertainty and cluelessness as it is now, there You have been. Your hand has been on me, guiding me. Your presence has been so real and evident. There is not one time throughout my past 30 years, where I cannot see You interwoven throughout everything I done. So with this assurance, how can I not trust You for the present and future? You are still here. You are still guiding me. You are still in control. Even when I feel surrounded by confusion and sometimes darkness.

So I hand You (again) my desires for a ministry and a spouse, my musings over more education and ministry preparation, and everything else that I repeatedly try to control, guess, and mull over. Instead, all I need...all I want is still You.

I remain,
Yours.

The Journey.

Hearing.
Waiting.
Wondering.

Uncertain.
Frustrated.
Impatient.

Reflecting.
Knowing.
Trusting.

You.
Beckon.
Gently.

Faithful.
Unchanging.
Immanuel.

My Beloved Speaks to Me

I will answer you when you call to Me
I will give relief in your distress
I will show you My mercy

In your anger, do not sin
Whether you are at home, at work, or elsewhere
Search your heart and be silent before Me

Trust in Me
Many will ask "Is there any good?"
I will let my light shine on you
I will fill your heart with joy
I will take care of all your needs


**Adapted from Psalm 4:1, 4-7

A Conversation

Me

Dear Beloved,

I will guard my ways that I may not sin with my tongue.
Lord, make me to know my end and what is the extent of my days.
And now Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in You.
Hear my prayer, O Lord, and give ear to my cry
Do not be silent at my tears for I am a stranger with You

I remain,
Yours.


Him

Mindy,

Seek
whatever is true
whatever is noble
whatever is right
whatever is true
whatever is pure
whatever is lovely
whatever is admirable

and if you see or know
anything that is excellent
anything that is admirable
think about these things

Whatever you learned, received, or heard from me; these are things to dwell on and practice.
And when you do, you'll find that My peace is all around you.
I'm still here.

Yours.



**Adapted from Psalm 39:1, 4, 7, 12 and Philippians 4:8-9

A Love Letter to my Beloved

Dear Beloved--

You are able
and I am so thankful for that

Your shoulders are big enough to carry my fears, worries, frustrations, dreams, hopes, tears and enthusiasm. You alone are worthy of my trust because You have proven Yourself to be so faithful and constant these past 30 years, that I know I can depend on You. You will never fail me.

I may not understand You at times. I may wish Your ways were my ways. I may grow weary in the process as I am right now but You are still good.

You are still worth my love and confidence.
Without You, I would be a broken mess.

I remain,
Yours.

A Song

You are God in heaven
And here am I on earth
So I'll let my words be few
Jesus, I am so in love with You

And I'll stand in awe of You, Jesus
Yes, I'll stand in awe of You
And I'll let my words be few
Jesus, I am so in love with You

The simplest of all love songs
I want to bring to You
So I'll let my words be few
Jesus, I am so in love with You


**Words and lyrics by Matt Redman (although the clip is sung by Phillips, Craig, and Dean)

A Song

There's no sweeter name than the name of Jesus.
His name brings joy, love and life.


**The song is written and sung by Kari Jobe

A Love Letter to my Beloved

Dear Beloved--

with much on my mind, You beckon
quietly, patiently, You wait

i move, focused and preoccupied
from one thing to the next
thinking through the list of what to do

the list of shoulds, what-ifs, and don't forgets
the planning, dreaming, and concentrating

the day goes by with nary a thought
of stopping the busy to catch up with You

i lay in bed wondering if life will be easier,
if i've missed some Call
if i should do better

in the stillness of the moment
i hear Your soft voice still calling for me
and i'm flooded with sadness

another day has gone by
without me calling Your name.

in You, there is peace, wisdom, and joy
in You, there is a future, a destiny, and plan
in You, there is wholeness, clarity, and love
for only in You is there a me.

I remain,
Yours.

My Beloved Speaks to Me

Who is there like Me?
I don't forget My promises
I pardon all your sins
I heal you of diseases
I provide you with meaning and purpose
And crown you with compassion and lovingkindness

For I am compassionte and gracious
Slow to anger and abounding in love

I have not dealt with your sins as I should have
But have instead removed them from you
As far as the east is from the west
As far as the heavens is from the earth
For I have compassion on you

I know I made you fragile
A life created from dust
A life that whithers like grass
or is blown away in the wind
But life with Me is everlasting!


**Adapted from Psalm 103:2-4, 8, 10, 12-17

A Love Letter to my Beloved

Dear Beloved

It is good for me to give thanks to You
And to sing praises to Your name, O Most High;
To declare Your lovingkindness in the morning
And Your faithfulness by night,

For You, My Beloved, have made me glad by what You have done,
I will sing for joy at the works of Your hands.
How great are Your works, O LORD!
Your thoughts are very deep.

I declare that You are upright;
You are my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in You.

I remain,
Yours


**Adapted from Psalm 92:1, 2, 4, 5, 15

A Love Letter to my Beloved

My Beloved,

I find myself once again struggling between balancing time with You and all the other interests and obligations out there. It is so easy to just think "later...I'll spend time later." Then the evening gets late and I think "tomorrow for sure." The cycle happens over and over and gets somewhat easier. But having tasted the goodness of hearing from You and being in Your presense, my soul longs for You. The unrest grows in my soul as I choose to neglect spending time with You each day. Oh, that the unrest would never go away during these times!

Be my Calm for my busy mind. Be my Wisdom for my reflective spirit. Be my Love to those in my life. Be relentless in Your pursuit for me...for all of me...until I find solace in Your presense and in Your voice, daily.

I remain,
Yours.

My Beloved Speaks to Me

I am your Rock, your Fortress, your Deliverer
I am the One who provide refuge
I am your Shield, your Salvation, your Stronghold

When you cried out for help, in your distress,
your cry came before me and I heard your voice.

I reached down from on high and took hold of you
I drew you out of the drowning waters.

I will keep the lamp burning
I will turn your darkness into light.

I arm you with strength
and make your paths perfect.

Who is there like Me?


**Adapted from Psalm 18: 2, 6, 16, 28, 31-32.

A Song

Hello Lord, it's me your child.
I have a few things on my mind.
Right now I'm faced with big decisions
And I'm wondering if you have a minute

Right now I don't hear so well and I was wondering if you could speak up.
I know that you tore the veil so I could sit with you in person and hear what you're saying
But right now, I just can't hear you.

I don't doubt your sovereignty
I doubt my own ability to hear what you're saying
And to do the right thing,
And I desperately want to do the right thing.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I think you are telling me to wait
And though patience has never been mine
Lord I will wait to hear from you.

Right now I don't hear so well and I was wondering if you could speak up.
I know that you tore the veil so I could sit with you in person and hear what you're saying
But right now, I think you're whispering.


**Lyrics by Sara Groves

A Love Letter to my Beloved

Dear Beloved--

There's a saying that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
While I think I would be overwhelmed to see what You see, it would be nice to see a glimpse of what You see, when You see me.

Are You pleased who I am or who I'm becoming?
Do You wish that I would trust You more?
Do You sigh or chuckle when I feel incompetent, emotional, or impatient?
Do You delight in breathing Your joy and peace into my heart?
Are there times when You cradle me in Your arms, even when I might be unaware?
Are You constantly whispering Your love to me?
Are You frustrated when I don't have the ears to hear You?

I know I can't define You by my limited mind. I am confident the emotions You feel are extraordinarily more complex and overwhelming than I can even imagine.

I know You've designed me the way You desired me to be. You've equipped me with the strengths and weaknesses and personality that makes me Your unique creation. And You take pleasure in me. But I guess I just wish I knew how this person that I am fits into the calling You have also given me.

I trust in You...Beloved, be my Beautiful One.
I remain,
Yours.

My Beloved Speaks to Me

Let your heart rejoice in Me;
For in Me, you will be lifted high
I delight in your deliverence

There is no one holy like Me
There is none besides Me
I will be a Rock like no other.

Watch how you speak
Do not keep talking so proudly
And keep your mouth from arrogance

I will raise up for Myself a faithful priest
Who will do according to what is in My heart and mind.
Let your heart rejoice in Me.


**Adapted from I Samuel 2:1-3, 35

A Song

I am a moment, You are forever
Lord of the Ages, God before time
I am a vapor, You are eternal
Love everlasting, reigning on high

And I sing
Holy, holy, Lord God Almighty
Worthy is the Lamb Who was slain
Highest praises, honor and glory
Be unto Your name, be unto Your name

I am the broken, You are the healer
Jesus, Redeemer, mighty to save
You are the love song I'll sing forever
Bowing before You, blessing Your name


**Lyrics by Lynn DeShazo and Gary Sadler
**Original lyrics use "we" instead of "I."

A Love Letter to my Beloved

Dear Beloved--

There are times that I am frustrated with You. Frustrated with Your timing and Your plans. Thank You for enduring with me during those times. I have learned (and will re-learn each time I get frustrated) that Your ways are better than mine. I may not see the entire picture that is being painted but You do. Everything You have done in my life thus far has been good...better than I could expect or imagine. Everytime You show me something new, that element fits like a glove.

I thank You for making me the way I am. You have given me a compassionate and sensitive heart. You have made me to be a listener, a feeler, a thinker, and through these, You have made me into a leader. I'm not like Moses or Paul and that's okay. Instead, I'm who You want me to be. I may never touch hundreds of people like Moses or Paul but You will use me to impact those that You desire and that will be just fine. All I want is to do Your will.

Here am I, sweet Jesus. Use me!
I remain,
Yours.

My Beloved Speaks to Me

"If you go where I go, if you stay where I stay
you will be my people and I will be your God.
I will let nothing, not even death can separate you from Me.

I will cover you with My cloak, providing protection and a place of refuge. For you are Mine and I am your Redeemer.
I have not left you in your despair and poverty.
I will renew your life and sustain you even to the end of your days.
For you are loved."


**Adapted from Ruth 1:16-17, 3:9, 4:14-15

A Song

In the morning when I rise, give me Jesus

Give me Jesus
Give me Jesus

You can have all this world, but give me Jesus

A Love Letter to my Beloved

Dear Beloved--

"As morning dawns and evening fades, You inspire songs of praise."

This morning on my way to work, I was blessed by the beautiful sunrise You created, which lit up the mountains. How much joy does painting a sunrise give You? When I am with You in heaven, can I watch You work? That would give me joy. Do You speak the sunrise into existence? Do You paint with a movement of Your finger?

I am reminded that just as I am fearfully and wonderfully made, so is each day. Each day has been divinely inspired...divinely created for Your glory. This simple statement should impact how I look at the world, so to speak.

Beloved, You are Master Designer...the Master Inventor. All around me I can see the work of Your hands and it amazes and humbles me. And even though I don't always understand the design that You are weaving into my life, I will trust in You. I will trust that You can see the sunrise, even when I can't.

Thank you for showing Yourself to me this morning.

I remain,
Yours

My Beloved Speaks to Me

I, your Beloved, have been fighting for you.
I will give you rest.
Just be very firm to keep and do all that I have said.
Do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left.
Only cling to Me as you have done to this day.
Love Me and walk in My ways
hold fast to Me and serve Me with all of your heart and with all your soul.
Not one of the good promises that I have made will fail
all will come to pass


**Adapted from Joshua 21:44, 45, 22:5, 23:3, 6, 8,

A Love Letter to my Beloved

Dear Beloved--

Another week past and yet I'm a different person than I was a week ago. Not that there has been significant or brilliant change. It's more like baby steps.
But as long as they are steps towards You And not away from You, I'm content.

You, my God, are good beyond comparison.
You meet me where I'm at and willingly take me by the hand.

This week I saw You in the morning, with the dawning of a new day.
I saw You in the evening, as you sustained me for all I needed to do.
I saw You through laughter and fellowship with friends.
I saw You through others worshipping You.

These baby steps may not be huge or noteworthy in many people's eyes
But I see You more clearly today than I did seven days ago. And I hear You more clearly having spent consistent time in Your presense; Tuning my ears to hear Your still small voice.
And hearing You, causes my heart to sing.

I remain,
Yours.

My Beloved Speaks to Me

"I will again delight in you.
I have wounded you and I will heal you.
I did this so that you might know that I am the LORD your God.
However I have never left you nor forsaken you.
And I never will.

If you continue to love Me and walk in My ways, then you will continue to see how I desire to bless you.
I will be your portion.
I will be your inheritance.
I will bless the path that is before you."


**Adapted from Deuteronomy 30:9, 32:29, 29:6, 31:6, 32:9, 30:16

One Small Change

I have noticed one small change already
in a less than a week's time

When you read the Bible
expecting to hear
you are more likely to hear
what the Lord is saying

Then because I hear the Lord
I stop reading only because I should
I read because I want to

And consequently
when I didn't have the time to read
I have found my heart yearning

Yearning to hear the voice of the Bridegroom

A Love Letter to my Beloved

My dear Beloved--

First I want to say that I am honored to be considered the bride of Christ. It is a title that I am proud of...a title I wouldn't want to ever change, no matter how I may sometimes act. Because, despite my actions, when the rubber meets the road, I know that I can always depend on You.

You have been my steadfast rock over the years of our "marriage." You have wooed me, carried me, listened to me, cried with me, and led me on this path of life. You have been my light, my vision, my strength, and my joy. You have saved me from the very depth of myself and all the evil that resides within me. Anything good in my life is because of You.

At this stage of my life, I find myself in a relationship with Someone I know but who has become more of an acquaintance rather than being my dear Beloved. What happened? How did I neglect you for so long that I can look at You casual complacency rather than looking looking at You with the intimacy that surrounded our union? It was in the little things, I suppose. Letting myself be distracted by little things. The little things then became regular excuses which then became a habit and so on. Seven years later, I open my eyes and wonder what happened...so did this distance happen?

Sure, I saw You throughout the seven years.You were right beside me the entire time. You still showed me things, taught me things, and provided me with blessings and miracles but even all those moments of sweetness didn't awaken me to the fact that there was sometime missing in our relationship: Intimacy and Passion.

I want You to know that I am still committed to our relationship. But at the end of my life, I want everyone who knows me to be certain of one thing; that I love You undividedly.

One of the very first songs that I ever learned at church was:
"Jesus loves me
This I know
For the Bible tells me so..."

Honestly, right now, I'm going through the motions. I leaning on Your words in the Bible and putting my head where it needs to be. I'm trusting that by going to the motions and in "rediscovering" You, that my heart will follow. So in the meanwhile, I give You full permission to continue to woo me. One day eventually I'll sing "Jesus loves me, this I know" and be able to stop there.
Until then, I remain,
Yours.

My Beloved Speaks To Me

"I have blessed you in all that you have done; I have known your wanderings through this great wilderness. These thirty years I have been with you; you have not lacked a thing.

Only take care! Keep close watch over yourself. Don't forget anything of what you've seen. Don't let your heart wander off. Stay vigilant as long as you live.

If you seek Me, you will find Me, if you search for Me with all your heart and all your soul. I wll not fail you nor hurt you nor forget our covenant."


**Adapted from Deuteronomy 2:7, 4:9, 29, 31

Introduction

I have been a Christian for 25 years. At the moment, that number brings grief only because in examining my relationship with God, I find myself lacking.

In the Bible, we are considered the bride of Christ and He is our bridegroom. "As a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you" (Isaiah 62:5). In light of that analogy, I would have to say that my marriage to God is stagnant. We've been married 25 years...I don't find Him as exciting as I used to. Sure, He's important to me and I think of Him here and there. But in general, it's closer to two acquaintences living together.

We gone through ups and downs...no wait!...I've gone through ups and downs in our relationship but He has been ever faithful to me and our vows. I don't deserve Him but am so thankful He is mine. All I know, is that I don't want to spend the next 25 years with my Groom and still feeling complacent.

He waits patiently, each day, just to hear my voice and to share Himself with me. I only need to be open and respond to Him. So the goal of this journey is just that. To open myself to His presense, to spend more time talking and listening to Him, and allowing Him to flood my heart with love and joy...the kind of love and joy a blushing bride feels.