A Love Letter to my Beloved

My Beloved,

My mind is full of thoughts, circulating around and around, with no real focus. It occurs to me that the One who can bring focus to me, the One I need to speak to and hear from, is You.

You have beckoned me my entire life. I remember when my dad told me about You and asked if I'd like You to be my Savior. Honestly, in that moment I already loved You and accepted You...saying yes to my dad was the easiest decision I've ever made. As I grown from that young age, I've learned so much more about You. The sweet and simple belief as a child has matured and developed, which has been good. However, along with a developed faith, my hindrances have also grown. It can be harder to trust You and Your timing. Instead of my young assurance that everything about You is good, including Your timing, I now am more prone to worrying, doubting, and becoming frustrated.

It is in those moments, when I need to take time to look backwards. All throughtout my past, which has been filled with moments of uncertainty and cluelessness as it is now, there You have been. Your hand has been on me, guiding me. Your presence has been so real and evident. There is not one time throughout my past 30 years, where I cannot see You interwoven throughout everything I done. So with this assurance, how can I not trust You for the present and future? You are still here. You are still guiding me. You are still in control. Even when I feel surrounded by confusion and sometimes darkness.

So I hand You (again) my desires for a ministry and a spouse, my musings over more education and ministry preparation, and everything else that I repeatedly try to control, guess, and mull over. Instead, all I need...all I want is still You.

I remain,
Yours.