A Love Letter to my Beloved

My parents chose my name...with much thought and great intention.
They knew it was a name that would shape and identify me.
They knew a name was important and meaningful.

You've given me a name too.
Beloved
Bride
Created
Heir
Daughter
Friend
Names which shape me and identify me, in greater ways than my birth name. Names that speak of and sustain a Hope and a Future. Names that say I am Yours.

It is Your names which enable me to surrender myself to the names You have given me...names that allow for less of me and more of You.
Beloved
Bridegroom
Faithful One
Redeemer
Prince of Peace
Emmanuel
Provider
Your names speak of constancy, endurance, and perfection. Your names speak of love, goodness, and sacrifice. Your names are eternal. They define You better than my names do and, at the same time, seem too inadequate to fully describe You. They are a sliver...a fraction...a piece of all that You are. But just as I am Yours, You have told me that You are mine!

Never do I need to be alone again.
Never do I have to struggle or endure life by myself.
Never do I have to right the wrongs in my own strength.
All that defines You is available to me!
Who am I to deserve all of You?

I remain,
Yours.

A thought...learning to be His beloved

You beckon
I listen
You woo
I dance
You speak
I sing
You astound
I watch
You delight
I stumble
You persist
I'm humbled
You forgive
I'm amazed
You give
You touch
You move
You love

I learn to love too

A Song...and a thought.

**There are many times when my actions or my heart screams that God is not enough for me. I crave connections with others...I allow my dreams to surpass God...I look for affirmation or attention from others...I cater to my whims instead of yielding my resources to God. In fact, there are times when I do this so often that I feel like the biggest hypocrite when I sing this song or any other song to the Lord. But it's about surrendering. It's about changing, bending, returning back into the arms of the Beloved and allowing Him to fill me where I have previously chosen other things. And when I do surrender, I inevitably find the presence and Person of the Lord to be sufficient...to be more than sufficient. He has not abandoned me or ever forgotten me, no matter what it may feel like at times.**


All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You are my supply
My breath of life
And still more awesome than I know

You are my reward
worth living for
And still more awesome than I know

All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You're my sacrifice
Of greatest price
And still more awesome than I know

You're the coming King
You are everything
And still more awesome than I know

More than all I want
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me
More than all I know
More than all I can say
You are more than enough for me


**song by Chris Tomlin and Louie Giglio

A Love Letter to my Beloved

My Beloved--

Another year past.
I find myself fighting some same battles
and facing some new battles

The yearn for a husband is still present
as well as for a full-time ministry position.
For clarity, for purpose, for opportunities.

In regards to my relationship with You,
I find myself wishing I could be more like You
More like the person You want me to be.

At times I am patient and content with Your timing
Other times I'm distant, negligent, or pensive
And yet other times, I'm angry and frustrated
Not knowing or understanding what Your will is

But You remain the faithful Bridegroom.
You remain the constant Friend
You remain the trustworthy Teacher

Despite my ups and downs
my strengths and weaknesses
my ebbs and flows

I remain,
Yours.

My Beloved Speaks to Me

While reading My words to the prophets
have you not learned that, like the Israelites,
I may take you through darkness,
into the valley,
or wilderness,
or even into captivity.
I have led people into solitude,
into fires,
and into the dens of lions.


I do not do this for amusement
but for a purpose.
To teach you,
to refine you,
to prepare you,
"so that you will know that I am God."


Do not fret or be anxious,
do not fear,
I will not let the water drown you
or the fire consume.
I will be with you.
Always.


**Quote taken from Ezekiel

A Love Letter to my Beloved

My Beloved-

In this season of thanksgiving and reflection, my thoughts feel muddled, leaving me feeling lost, confused, and frustrated.

Where do You want me to go?
What do You want me to do?
How would You like me to serve?
Is there ever going to be a spouse to walk along side me?
Do I quit my job in faith?
How do I find this ministry You have planned for me?
Or should I not even look for it and just wait?

Thank You, dearest Jesus, for having all of time in Your vision and under Your control. Thank You that this blip of a moment is fleeting and it will one day "fit" into the journey that You have planned for me. Thank You for the things You are teaching me and showing me, even if I may not be fully aware of it at the present. Thank You for your faithfulness and trustworthiness. Even though my life feels like it is chaos and the confusion is heavy, I know I can depend on You. You are my beacon.

I remain,
Yours.

A Love Letter to my Beloved

My Beloved--

I know this isn't the usual type of note that I have written in the past but variety is okay, right? The point of this blog is for me to intentionally connect with you...to share my heart with you and to hear yours. So despite the different tone of this particular letter, the intention is still there. I want to share my heart...

I know that You are not a doting grandfather in the sky or some magical genie waiting to answer my wishes and whims. But I also know that You have a plan for my life which will include many blessings. Lastly, I also know that You care about the things on my heart.

Beloved, I would love to go to Ambrose University College next year. The new buildings looks amazing and it would be fun to return to my alma mater even though it's moved cities and has changed to be sure. It would be great to be in that environment again but part of me worries that I am just trying to "retreat" to a happier time. I certainly don't want that!

Beloved, I would love to do the whole doctorate program thing but honestly, it scares me a little. Sure, with Your help, I've done well on my Master's degree but I just don't see myself being intellectual enough for a doctorate degree and then even beyond that, to actually teach others. However, I know that if You guide me into this program, there too You will be and You will prepare me for teaching others. The bottom line is that I don't want to walk on this path without first hearing from You.

I know I am prone to thinking and thinking and thinking. I do trust that You will speak and reveal Your will for me when it is time but I just wanted to share these few thoughts with You. Thank You for caring and for loving me. I wait for You!

I remain,
Yours.