A Love Letter to my Beloved

My parents chose my name...with much thought and great intention.
They knew it was a name that would shape and identify me.
They knew a name was important and meaningful.

You've given me a name too.
Beloved
Bride
Created
Heir
Daughter
Friend
Names which shape me and identify me, in greater ways than my birth name. Names that speak of and sustain a Hope and a Future. Names that say I am Yours.

It is Your names which enable me to surrender myself to the names You have given me...names that allow for less of me and more of You.
Beloved
Bridegroom
Faithful One
Redeemer
Prince of Peace
Emmanuel
Provider
Your names speak of constancy, endurance, and perfection. Your names speak of love, goodness, and sacrifice. Your names are eternal. They define You better than my names do and, at the same time, seem too inadequate to fully describe You. They are a sliver...a fraction...a piece of all that You are. But just as I am Yours, You have told me that You are mine!

Never do I need to be alone again.
Never do I have to struggle or endure life by myself.
Never do I have to right the wrongs in my own strength.
All that defines You is available to me!
Who am I to deserve all of You?

I remain,
Yours.

A thought...learning to be His beloved

You beckon
I listen
You woo
I dance
You speak
I sing
You astound
I watch
You delight
I stumble
You persist
I'm humbled
You forgive
I'm amazed
You give
You touch
You move
You love

I learn to love too

A Song...and a thought.

**There are many times when my actions or my heart screams that God is not enough for me. I crave connections with others...I allow my dreams to surpass God...I look for affirmation or attention from others...I cater to my whims instead of yielding my resources to God. In fact, there are times when I do this so often that I feel like the biggest hypocrite when I sing this song or any other song to the Lord. But it's about surrendering. It's about changing, bending, returning back into the arms of the Beloved and allowing Him to fill me where I have previously chosen other things. And when I do surrender, I inevitably find the presence and Person of the Lord to be sufficient...to be more than sufficient. He has not abandoned me or ever forgotten me, no matter what it may feel like at times.**


All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You are my supply
My breath of life
And still more awesome than I know

You are my reward
worth living for
And still more awesome than I know

All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You're my sacrifice
Of greatest price
And still more awesome than I know

You're the coming King
You are everything
And still more awesome than I know

More than all I want
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me
More than all I know
More than all I can say
You are more than enough for me


**song by Chris Tomlin and Louie Giglio

A Love Letter to my Beloved

My Beloved--

Another year past.
I find myself fighting some same battles
and facing some new battles

The yearn for a husband is still present
as well as for a full-time ministry position.
For clarity, for purpose, for opportunities.

In regards to my relationship with You,
I find myself wishing I could be more like You
More like the person You want me to be.

At times I am patient and content with Your timing
Other times I'm distant, negligent, or pensive
And yet other times, I'm angry and frustrated
Not knowing or understanding what Your will is

But You remain the faithful Bridegroom.
You remain the constant Friend
You remain the trustworthy Teacher

Despite my ups and downs
my strengths and weaknesses
my ebbs and flows

I remain,
Yours.

My Beloved Speaks to Me

While reading My words to the prophets
have you not learned that, like the Israelites,
I may take you through darkness,
into the valley,
or wilderness,
or even into captivity.
I have led people into solitude,
into fires,
and into the dens of lions.


I do not do this for amusement
but for a purpose.
To teach you,
to refine you,
to prepare you,
"so that you will know that I am God."


Do not fret or be anxious,
do not fear,
I will not let the water drown you
or the fire consume.
I will be with you.
Always.


**Quote taken from Ezekiel

A Love Letter to my Beloved

My Beloved-

In this season of thanksgiving and reflection, my thoughts feel muddled, leaving me feeling lost, confused, and frustrated.

Where do You want me to go?
What do You want me to do?
How would You like me to serve?
Is there ever going to be a spouse to walk along side me?
Do I quit my job in faith?
How do I find this ministry You have planned for me?
Or should I not even look for it and just wait?

Thank You, dearest Jesus, for having all of time in Your vision and under Your control. Thank You that this blip of a moment is fleeting and it will one day "fit" into the journey that You have planned for me. Thank You for the things You are teaching me and showing me, even if I may not be fully aware of it at the present. Thank You for your faithfulness and trustworthiness. Even though my life feels like it is chaos and the confusion is heavy, I know I can depend on You. You are my beacon.

I remain,
Yours.

A Love Letter to my Beloved

My Beloved--

I know this isn't the usual type of note that I have written in the past but variety is okay, right? The point of this blog is for me to intentionally connect with you...to share my heart with you and to hear yours. So despite the different tone of this particular letter, the intention is still there. I want to share my heart...

I know that You are not a doting grandfather in the sky or some magical genie waiting to answer my wishes and whims. But I also know that You have a plan for my life which will include many blessings. Lastly, I also know that You care about the things on my heart.

Beloved, I would love to go to Ambrose University College next year. The new buildings looks amazing and it would be fun to return to my alma mater even though it's moved cities and has changed to be sure. It would be great to be in that environment again but part of me worries that I am just trying to "retreat" to a happier time. I certainly don't want that!

Beloved, I would love to do the whole doctorate program thing but honestly, it scares me a little. Sure, with Your help, I've done well on my Master's degree but I just don't see myself being intellectual enough for a doctorate degree and then even beyond that, to actually teach others. However, I know that if You guide me into this program, there too You will be and You will prepare me for teaching others. The bottom line is that I don't want to walk on this path without first hearing from You.

I know I am prone to thinking and thinking and thinking. I do trust that You will speak and reveal Your will for me when it is time but I just wanted to share these few thoughts with You. Thank You for caring and for loving me. I wait for You!

I remain,
Yours.

My Beloved Speaks to Me

I am your rock, your fortress and your deliverer; 
I am the rock in whom you can take refuge,
Your shield and the horn of your salvation

I am your stronghold, your refuge, and your Savior.
I alone can save you from destruction.

Call out to Me.
In your distress, call out to Me.
for I hear your voice;
your cry comes to My ears

I will be your lamp
I will turn your darkenss into light.


**Adapted from II Samuel 22:3, 7, 29

A Love Letter to my Beloved

My Beloved,

My mind is full of thoughts, circulating around and around, with no real focus. It occurs to me that the One who can bring focus to me, the One I need to speak to and hear from, is You.

You have beckoned me my entire life. I remember when my dad told me about You and asked if I'd like You to be my Savior. Honestly, in that moment I already loved You and accepted You...saying yes to my dad was the easiest decision I've ever made. As I grown from that young age, I've learned so much more about You. The sweet and simple belief as a child has matured and developed, which has been good. However, along with a developed faith, my hindrances have also grown. It can be harder to trust You and Your timing. Instead of my young assurance that everything about You is good, including Your timing, I now am more prone to worrying, doubting, and becoming frustrated.

It is in those moments, when I need to take time to look backwards. All throughtout my past, which has been filled with moments of uncertainty and cluelessness as it is now, there You have been. Your hand has been on me, guiding me. Your presence has been so real and evident. There is not one time throughout my past 30 years, where I cannot see You interwoven throughout everything I done. So with this assurance, how can I not trust You for the present and future? You are still here. You are still guiding me. You are still in control. Even when I feel surrounded by confusion and sometimes darkness.

So I hand You (again) my desires for a ministry and a spouse, my musings over more education and ministry preparation, and everything else that I repeatedly try to control, guess, and mull over. Instead, all I need...all I want is still You.

I remain,
Yours.

The Journey.

Hearing.
Waiting.
Wondering.

Uncertain.
Frustrated.
Impatient.

Reflecting.
Knowing.
Trusting.

You.
Beckon.
Gently.

Faithful.
Unchanging.
Immanuel.

My Beloved Speaks to Me

I will answer you when you call to Me
I will give relief in your distress
I will show you My mercy

In your anger, do not sin
Whether you are at home, at work, or elsewhere
Search your heart and be silent before Me

Trust in Me
Many will ask "Is there any good?"
I will let my light shine on you
I will fill your heart with joy
I will take care of all your needs


**Adapted from Psalm 4:1, 4-7

A Conversation

Me

Dear Beloved,

I will guard my ways that I may not sin with my tongue.
Lord, make me to know my end and what is the extent of my days.
And now Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in You.
Hear my prayer, O Lord, and give ear to my cry
Do not be silent at my tears for I am a stranger with You

I remain,
Yours.


Him

Mindy,

Seek
whatever is true
whatever is noble
whatever is right
whatever is true
whatever is pure
whatever is lovely
whatever is admirable

and if you see or know
anything that is excellent
anything that is admirable
think about these things

Whatever you learned, received, or heard from me; these are things to dwell on and practice.
And when you do, you'll find that My peace is all around you.
I'm still here.

Yours.



**Adapted from Psalm 39:1, 4, 7, 12 and Philippians 4:8-9

A Love Letter to my Beloved

Dear Beloved--

You are able
and I am so thankful for that

Your shoulders are big enough to carry my fears, worries, frustrations, dreams, hopes, tears and enthusiasm. You alone are worthy of my trust because You have proven Yourself to be so faithful and constant these past 30 years, that I know I can depend on You. You will never fail me.

I may not understand You at times. I may wish Your ways were my ways. I may grow weary in the process as I am right now but You are still good.

You are still worth my love and confidence.
Without You, I would be a broken mess.

I remain,
Yours.

A Song

You are God in heaven
And here am I on earth
So I'll let my words be few
Jesus, I am so in love with You

And I'll stand in awe of You, Jesus
Yes, I'll stand in awe of You
And I'll let my words be few
Jesus, I am so in love with You

The simplest of all love songs
I want to bring to You
So I'll let my words be few
Jesus, I am so in love with You


**Words and lyrics by Matt Redman (although the clip is sung by Phillips, Craig, and Dean)

A Song

There's no sweeter name than the name of Jesus.
His name brings joy, love and life.


**The song is written and sung by Kari Jobe

A Love Letter to my Beloved

Dear Beloved--

with much on my mind, You beckon
quietly, patiently, You wait

i move, focused and preoccupied
from one thing to the next
thinking through the list of what to do

the list of shoulds, what-ifs, and don't forgets
the planning, dreaming, and concentrating

the day goes by with nary a thought
of stopping the busy to catch up with You

i lay in bed wondering if life will be easier,
if i've missed some Call
if i should do better

in the stillness of the moment
i hear Your soft voice still calling for me
and i'm flooded with sadness

another day has gone by
without me calling Your name.

in You, there is peace, wisdom, and joy
in You, there is a future, a destiny, and plan
in You, there is wholeness, clarity, and love
for only in You is there a me.

I remain,
Yours.

My Beloved Speaks to Me

Who is there like Me?
I don't forget My promises
I pardon all your sins
I heal you of diseases
I provide you with meaning and purpose
And crown you with compassion and lovingkindness

For I am compassionte and gracious
Slow to anger and abounding in love

I have not dealt with your sins as I should have
But have instead removed them from you
As far as the east is from the west
As far as the heavens is from the earth
For I have compassion on you

I know I made you fragile
A life created from dust
A life that whithers like grass
or is blown away in the wind
But life with Me is everlasting!


**Adapted from Psalm 103:2-4, 8, 10, 12-17

A Love Letter to my Beloved

Dear Beloved

It is good for me to give thanks to You
And to sing praises to Your name, O Most High;
To declare Your lovingkindness in the morning
And Your faithfulness by night,

For You, My Beloved, have made me glad by what You have done,
I will sing for joy at the works of Your hands.
How great are Your works, O LORD!
Your thoughts are very deep.

I declare that You are upright;
You are my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in You.

I remain,
Yours


**Adapted from Psalm 92:1, 2, 4, 5, 15

A Love Letter to my Beloved

My Beloved,

I find myself once again struggling between balancing time with You and all the other interests and obligations out there. It is so easy to just think "later...I'll spend time later." Then the evening gets late and I think "tomorrow for sure." The cycle happens over and over and gets somewhat easier. But having tasted the goodness of hearing from You and being in Your presense, my soul longs for You. The unrest grows in my soul as I choose to neglect spending time with You each day. Oh, that the unrest would never go away during these times!

Be my Calm for my busy mind. Be my Wisdom for my reflective spirit. Be my Love to those in my life. Be relentless in Your pursuit for me...for all of me...until I find solace in Your presense and in Your voice, daily.

I remain,
Yours.

My Beloved Speaks to Me

I am your Rock, your Fortress, your Deliverer
I am the One who provide refuge
I am your Shield, your Salvation, your Stronghold

When you cried out for help, in your distress,
your cry came before me and I heard your voice.

I reached down from on high and took hold of you
I drew you out of the drowning waters.

I will keep the lamp burning
I will turn your darkness into light.

I arm you with strength
and make your paths perfect.

Who is there like Me?


**Adapted from Psalm 18: 2, 6, 16, 28, 31-32.